Do Not Be a Self-care Brat


I am going to try this one more time to see if I can get any juices to flow other than from my abscessed tooth (yeah, sorry for that I could not help but make a joke). I have been in a funk lately and have not been able to find my words. This happens every time I try to change my writing style; I have been trying to mold my posts to better fit the blogging worlds “template” in order to monetize but it just is not happening. See, by sticking to my own personal style I flow. I feel like by sharing my journey and what I do to survive this, at times, craptastic journey called life I AM conforming to a mold, it’s just MY mold. Nonetheless, that is all anyone can, and should do, is be true to themselves regardless of potential monetary gain, or any kind of gain for that matter.

On the topic of molds and trends as big as a nonconformist as I am there is one popular topic I want to touch on: self-care. We walk a fine line when we start diving into self first as some of us have the potential to become complete self-absorbed, neurotic brats. But, I am not focusing on the brats of this world, I am focusing on the legit people that are able to walk the tightrope (if you can not tell I am in a mood this morning!).

self care


  • What self-care is NOT



On the other side of the spectrum of bratty neurotics are the codependents, which is not a legit targeted audience either and being a codependent myself, I’m preaching to the choir. We are the whipped dogs pathetically slaving away and sacrificing ourselves for others who generally take advantage of our service-minded personalities. We like to marry narcissists, alcoholics, or anyone that we feel needs fixing because it is easier to fix someone else then turn that magnifying glass inward and focus on what is broken within ourselves. Self-care is not the sacrifice of self in service of others.  



  • Then what the hell IS self-care supposed to look like, smartass?



By this point, I may have hit some nerves and that is ok, hitting nerves is a good thing. It means we are on the path to something beautiful (yes, I am hammering away at my own nerves as well). Self-care is fueling your own gas tank FIRST so that you will not be fueling others on fumes alone.

The best example of this is motherhood. How well do I serve my kids by acting like a raving, stressed out lunatic? When I get overwhelmed, anxious, touched out etc.. I transform into the hunter that shot Bambi’s mother. I yell and nitpick, overdo it with timeouts and honestly, that is not the mother I want to be. I practice self-care religiously because I want to be like Mary Poppins, that broad is my idol. I want to be the crafty mom or the yes mom that is relaxed and enjoying watching her kids play freely and happily as children should!


Now the fun part, I get to talk about what I do to take care of myself! My self-care routine is weird and I feel like I should offer a disclaimer; it is not for everyone, you probably should not do this (whoops, I am probably being counterproductive with getting readers to come back but keep reading, I will offer practical stuff too!)



  • Coffee at midnight


With the birth of my daughter, I got into a habit of nursing her than not being able to go back to sleep so I would fix a pot of coffee and enjoy the quiet time. My sweet baby girl is now twenty months old and I am still on her newborn schedule! But, I enjoy the silence as I have four kids and my house is pure and utter chaos during the day. For almost two years now this is the time I post most of my blogs (and probably the reason not many people see what I write) but I honestly do not care that much, it is my time. When I am ready to go back to bed no matter the time I feel recharged and my batteries are full to be who I need to be for those I love in the morning.



  • Meditation



Meditating with four kids? I have found a way around that too! Most of the time my definition of meditating would make most gurus frown but it serves me. I am usually bent over the stove with a toddler at my feet and three other kids screaming, jumping, running, fighting or complaining. Meditating is learning to breathe through the chaos. I will close my eyes for a few minutes and focus on something I love or am excited about. Sometimes it’s my school work, a blog idea, the hot guy I saw at the grocery store, you get the idea. But when reality punches me in the butt cheek with a random toy I come back centered.



  • Baths



Self-care is getting to bathe instead of the spit baths I usually try to pull off in the morning before school drop off. Ugh, yes, I am THAT mother. A friend recently introduced me to bath bombs and I felt the satisfaction of being fed by the manna from heaven. Dramatic? Yes. understatement? No.


  • Essential Oils



Most people have a strong olfactory system meaning that particular smells bring back certain memories. Patchouli for me reminds me of old people and I love the old person smell because I love old people and my grandmother. That particular oil elicits a feeling of peace and calm resulting in pleasant memories of childhood with my nanny. Find your smell. If you know an essential oil consultant ask them if you can sniff their collection. I just happened to run across patchouli sniffing a friend’s neck (she smelled heavenly that day!).


That is all I got. Now, go out into the world and spread the good news with cheer and good tidings!

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